Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Well, hello there.

I started what I call my “weight loss journey” on May 28, 2009. That is the day I went to my last first Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed in at 321 lbs. As of today February 22, 2011 I have lost 142 of the 170 lbs that I intend to lose. I had initially gained the biggest portion of weight when I was pregnant with my oldest. He is now 14. I went up and down in weight, but never got below approximately 250 lbs. I felt insecure, miserable, desperate, scared, depressed, uncomfortable, unhappy, despondent, pessimistic, inferior, hopeless and just all around horrible. I tried to lose weight hundreds of times over the last 14 years. 

I talked about it all the time. Almost like talking about it and saying that I was going to lose weight made it okay to live life enveloped by layers and layers of fat and misery. My family and friends have always loved me regardless of my size and even have told me in the past that they didn’t “see” my weight. Or that I didn’t carry myself like I weighed 300 lbs. The problem is that the fat was there and I did weigh 300 lbs. In every social situation I found myself in I knew that I was going to be the very fattest person in the room, store, office, park, gym, club, school… you get the idea. I was the fattest person that I knew. Seriously, it is a total anomaly to weigh that much. To almost anybody 300+ lbs is disgusting and such an impossible amount to weigh that most cannot even comprehend. When you hear that someone weighs that much the inevitable reaction is always “OMG, that much?”  I lived like that for over a decade. Even I do not comprehend the way living like that can affect someone mentally. I believe I had what I call “reverse body dysmorphia” disorder. I was THAT fat and didn’t think I was.  I was in chronic pain. I was listless and lonely. I never went after what I wanted and felt like everything I could ever dream of or want was outside my reach. 

In this blog I will explore the years of pain and suffering that I went through and the incredible transformation to happiness that has happened in my life. I wish I could send myself a wake up call from the future. A letter from the person I am now to the person I was then. So that is what this blog will be. Letters to the old me. I wish I had written or blogged about the process the entire time, but I did not truly believe that I was actually losing ALL of the weight. I have less than 50 of the 176 lbs to lose to get to my ultimate goal weight of 145 lbs. I am only now beginning to realize the huge accomplishment that truly is. I hope I can help someone who is in the spot that I was. I hope they read the letters to the old me and find some comfort and motivation. I welcome any and all comments, encouragement, questions or whatever. I have learned a lot about weight loss and the process and I want all the “fat girls” out there to know what I have learned. I honestly could not tell you what changed that day in May. Why this time it stuck, but it did and I am beyond thrilled. I hope in exploring this in a blog that I discover what in fact did make it stick. Today I am a whole new person. I am a whole new Elly. I am the total and complete opposite of what I was back then. There is one exception, I am still me. The difference is now you can see who that person really is. No more hiding. No more sadness. No more fear. Only peace, love, and life.


  1. Dear Fat Girl Gone Skinny:

    I love you!!!! You are an amazing creature. And now your outsides match your fabulous insides.


    Your Big Sis

  2. I love you too Munna!!! You are pretty amazing yourself.

  3. Write your little heart out, Sister! I'll be reading.