Monday, June 27, 2011

A new chapter...

Dear Old Me,

Tonight I taught my second Zumba class. It went really well. I see my dream becoming a reality right before my eyes and I stand amazed at the opportunity in front of me. The studio where I am teaching is perfect. I have a built in crew of adorable high school age girls from the studio and their moms. Tonight I mentioned how the girls would put us "old ladies" to shame and Jayme, one of the moms, responds "Where do you think they got it from?!" Haha! For sure! Could it get any cuter than that? They all seem very excited about coming back and sharing it with their friends. I am trying to not get to excited but I feel so blessed to have this group already supporting me. On top of that I get to see all of my friends from my other classes who are making a special effort to come out and friends from all parts of my life who haven't tried it before. I love the smiles at the end of class. I love the joy people get when they figure out that they are dancing and enjoying every second. I love the way Zumba continues to challenge even those who have done it for years but is easy enough to be done by the absolute novice.

Last Wednesday marked a new chapter in my life. I never dreamt that I could be where I am right now. I am so close to goal weight and teaching Zumba twice a week at a beautiful studio. This new chapter is taking me exactly where I want to be. I am proud but humbled by what has happened. I know that losing this weight has been a gift and I fully intend to continue to learn and grow so that I can share it with anyone and everyone who cares to listen. I know it is so hard to believe that it can happen. But it can. It does. You just have to believe it and keep with it. Keep with the happy and the weight will just slide off. Find the joy. I found it with dance and I let the happy I get in that 1 hour of Zumba infect the rest of my life. I have found a way to love the life I live and live the life I love all at the same time. It is a beautiful thing.

Oh, and here is a picture of your first class. How wonderful is that? I really am so grateful to everyone for coming out to support me. That night is one I will never, ever forget.

Until next time,

The New You

Friday, June 24, 2011

My inspiration

Dear Old Me,

There are many, many people who have inspired me to stay true to my goals along the way. The most important people have been my instructors. They inspire me and everyone around them and I could not be more grateful.

I have been neglectful in posting in this blog the last little bit which I always regret. The last few weeks have been some of the most amazing to me of any that have passed before. One experience in particular shows just how much our instructors inspire us.

Jamee teaches classes 5 times a week at Quickstep Ballroom Studio. Her sister who owns the studio recently had a concert for her students. It was an amazing time for everyone who got to see it. So professional and fun. Andrea had asked Jamee to recruit some of her students to perform a couple of routines during the show to give the kids some time to change. There would be no pay. It would be on a volunteer basis, but we needed to perform to the level expected in a concert like this. Even that being said 17 ladies willingly volunteered. We stayed after Zumba class for weeks and weeks and practiced and worked so hard to get the number right so we could do Jamee proud. All of us have busy schedules but we did this for Jamee because she inspires us. She makes us want to dance. We would have never done this if it was not for how amazing an instructor and person she is. I adore everything about her. The love of dance shows through in every routine I do in her class. She shows me how to use my creative side... Her routines are unique and complex but so much fun. There are so many times when I have been smiling so hard in her class that I feel like my face might break. It is a true sense of accomplishment when you finally nail a tough number or you finally get that dang 6 count phrase to an 8 count measure (not sure if I said that right) in that one merengue.

I taught my very first class on my own the other night (more to come on that later, I just gotta get caught up on everything else that has been happening). During the entire class I channeled Jamee's energy. I pictured her effortless instruction and kept my feet moving because I knew that is what she would be doing! I am so grateful to her for showing me how to be a better instructor and letting me record her routines to study. I appreciate her friendship and the way she is so willing to help me realize this incredible miracle in my life. There are many times where I felt so discouraged and thought there was no way I could ever do this. I felt insecure and like I would never get it and never be able to be an instructor. She never told me that I couldn't. She has always offered her encouragement and support. Even when my first class wound up being in conflict with her wonderful Wednesday night class she told me she didn't mind. She even promoted my class in hers... knowing it was at the same time as hers. I know she believes in me and that makes me work harder, feel stronger and it makes me believe. After my first class the owner of the studio offered me a second class each week... it just happens to be at the same time as one of Jamee's other classes. That is now two nights a week I am not going to be able shake it with Jamee!!! I am going to go into withdrawals. I love her and all of the wonderful ladies who are so dedicated because of her... I am going to have to make the most of her morning classes this summer!

Before our big debut at the concert all of the ladies got together for ONE shot. We only had a second and we had to nail it... I would say we did. The beauty in this picture runs so deep it is not even funny. Each one of these ladies is unique and beatiful in every way. I love them! BTW, Jamee is the one second from the right, with the hot knee-high converse. She is so freaking adorable I don't know what to even think!

We did a hip hop number in the black to Prrrm... an awesome song I do in my playlist and then a more Zumba obvious dance to a mix of Zumba music... here we are in those costumes. This pic makes my heart happy.

Jamee's schedule:
Mon 8:30pm-9:30pm / Wed 8:30pm-9:30pm and Tues / Thurs / Sat 8:30am-9:30am
Quickstep Ballroom Studio- 9524 South 500 West Sandy UT
I am eternally grateful. Love you Jamee!!!
The New You

Monday, June 13, 2011

It is possible. It will happen. I promise.

Dear Old Me,

I recently came across a picture that I think really shows how far I have come. Back in the day when I was so big I rarely had my picture taken. If I did I strategically placed myself in the back or cropped the photo so it was just my face. I wish I had more "before" pictures now. I am not proud of myself for getting so big. But I am proud of how far I have come. I am so grateful to Zumba and all of the support and inspiration I get from my friends and family. I believe that I will not backslide into obesity again because I found exercise that I love. Exercise that I would do for hours on end if I could (and sometimes do).

I am proud of my accomplishments but anytime I get too proud I remember that this is a gift. This is not just my weight loss journey. I feel I have a responsibility to share my story and help others change their lives as well. I have renewed passion this morning and I am committed to having my own Zumba class by the end of the month. I am going to research the different programs at the U and get my butt into school for a degree related to health and wellness. Not sure what it will be exactly. I have to finish my bachelors in marketing first, but that should be done this year so by the spring I can enroll at the U. I want this for life and I want to help anyone and everyone who will let me.

2007... I weighed about 280 lbs and the one below was June 4, 2011 (with my friend Susan), I weighed 165 lbs. 20 lbs to goal and feeling better than I have in my whole life, inside and out. I like these two pics because I am making essentially the same face so you get a good idea of the change.
It is possible. It will happen. I promise.


The New You

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Prayer for Self Love

Dear Old Me,

Through this journey I have found that one of the most important things I need to do is to love myself. I wear a ring that says "Nothing is Impossible" to remind myself that above all else I must love myself and by doing so the world is mine... I wear it on my wedding ring finger as a reminder that I must truly love me before anyone else will.

A while back during a very tough time in my life a friend recommended a book called "The Four Agreements". At first it seemed a little out there, but the concepts and ideas rang so true. It helped me realize that the words and actions of others have absolutely nothing to do with me. It helped me through a heart-breaking split with a good friend. I keep a copy of the book around at all times. I have given at least a half dozen copies away to friends and loved ones... and even one time a perfect stranger who happened to cross your path. The author also writes a book on love called "The Mastery of Love". I was pouring over it today. Soaking in the truth of what is most important... Self-Love. At the very end there is a prayer for self-love. It helps me to read it any time I start to doubt myself or start to take things too personally.


Today, Creator of the Universe, we ask that you help us to accept ourselves just the way we are, without judgment. Help us to accept our mind the way it is, with all our emotions, our hopes and dreams, our personality, our unique way of being. Help us to accept our body just the way it is, with all its beauty and perfection. Let the love we have for ourselves be so strong that we never again reject ourselves or sabotage our happiness freedom and love.

From now on, let every action, every reaction, every thought, every emotion, be based on love. Help us, Creator, to increase our self-love until the entire dream of our life is transformed, from fear and drama to love and joy. Let the power of our self-love be strong enough to break all the lies we were programmed to believe -- all the lies that tell us we are not good enough, that we cannot make it. Let the power of our self-love be so strong that we no longer need to live our life according to other people's opinions. Let us trust ourselves completely to make the choices we must make. With our self-love, we are no longer afraid to face any responsibility in our life or face any problems and resolve them as they arise. Whatever we want to accomplish, let it be done with the power of our self-love.

Starting today, help us to love ourselves so much that we never set up any circumstances that go against us. We can live our life being ourselves and not pretending to be someone else just to be accepted by other people. We no longer need other people to accept us or tell us how good we are because we know what we are. With the power of our self-love let us enjoy what we see every time we look in the mirror. Let there be a big smile on our face that enhances our inner and outer beauty. Help us to feel such intense self-love that we always enjoy our own presence.

Let us love ourselves without judgment, because when we judge, we carry blame and guilt, we have the need for punishment, and we lose the perspective of our love. Strengthen our will to forgive ourselves in this moment. Clean our minds of emotional poison and self-judgments so we can live in complete peace and love.

Let our self-love be the power that changes our life. With this new power in our hears, the power of self-love, let us transform every relationship we have beginning with the relationship with ourselves. Help us to be free of any conflict with others. Let us be happy to share our time with our loved ones and to forgive them for any injustice we feel in our mind. Help us to love ourselves so much that we forgive anyone who has ever hurt us in our life.

Give us the courage to love our family and friends unconditionally, and to change our relationships in the most positive and loving way. Help us to create new channels of communication in our relationships so there is no war of control, there is no winner or loser. Together let us work as a team for love, for joy, for harmony.

Let our relationships with our family and friends be based on respect and joy so that we no longer have the need to tell them how to think or how to be. Help us to accept others just the way they are, without judgment, because when we reject them, we reject ourselves. When we reject ourselves, we reject you.

Today is a new beginning. Help us to start our life over beginning today with the power of self-love. Help us to enjoy our life, to enjoy our relationships, to explore life, to take risks, to be alive and to no longer live in fear of love. Let us open our heart to the love that is our birthright. Help us to become Masters of Gratitude, Generosity, and Love so that we can enjoy all of your creations forever and ever, Amen.

Pretty awesome stuff.


The New You

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Another shorty...

Dear Old Me,

I have been super busy... I need to post so I don't lose points. So here it is.


The New You

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A quicky

Dear Old Me,

This is gonna be quick. I really don't feel too inspired right now. I do feel strong, but don't really have much to say about it. Maybe later. :-)


The New You

Sunday, June 5, 2011

An ode...

Dear Old Me,

Is "Ode" a word? It sounds a little strange by itself, but it is the best word to describe how I feel right now. My heart sings. My soul is light and my world forever changed. So, I guess it is very, very appropriate...

Tonight I sing an ode...

An ode to family ties and bonds so strong that nothing can shake them.

An ode to fathers who truly love their children... no matter how those children become theirs.

An ode to daddies who adore their daughters (and sons) and know that when they twirl and shine (spotlight not required) that these wonders of life are spectacular and theirs to protect... forever.

An ode to mamas who know that what they do means the world and the world a million times over would never take their place nor be anything in comparison to the beauty and simplicity of "MOM".

An ode to sisters who are forever loyal and stand tall and strong for each other.

An ode to friends who laugh and shine together for no other reason than the sun is out and we have this one moment to make it happen.

An ode to love and life and everything that is wonderful right now...

My heart is filled to the brink. Not sure if I can handle any more... but willing to take a chance.

I hope this counts,

The New You

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Dear Old Me,

This coming Saturday you are going to conquer a fear that has plagued you for a long, long time. You are going to go up on stage in front of strangers and dance, perform, put your self out there for everyone to see. This has been a long time coming and I think it is a perfect "coming out" for the new you. I just hope I don't fall on my face. I am so scared that I will be the one that ruins the entire performance. Ugh. I need to get over it!!! There is no backing out now! All you can do is dance your heart out and leave it on the stage. A smile creeps onto my face right now typing those words. Me? Leaving it on the stage. Whodathunkit? Not me that is for sure.

We have dress rehearsal tonight and I was so nervous about how I would look in my costume so I put it on. I am sure that this body does not belong to me. I am not sure how this happened. I know that I have never given up. Not giving up can and will get you what you want.

Now convincing yourself what you really want is to perform is the next step in this journey. Every class you teach will be a performance and you have to leave it on the floor. Oh god... now I am nervous about something else completely. I am going to end this letter before I have a panic attack.

Leaving it on the stage,

The New You