Monday, March 21, 2011

A new love.

Dear Old Me,

I am not quite sure how to describe how I feel. The best way I can describe it is that I feel light as air, but more grounded than I have ever been. I have feeling this way for a minute, but I am really starting to recognize it as something very special. This feeling is what you have been dreaming of. This is what I have been working for so hard. It feels amazing and it will only get better. It has nothing to do with the fact that you are finally “normal-size” or that a guy is paying you attention.

I know you are dying to know about the new guy. I know you think that finding that kind of love is truly what you want and need. You think that kind of love will change your life and make things better. If only someone would just love you, than, than you would be okay! Let me just say the guy is cool. That is cool. It should be fun to hang out and get to know someone new. He is respectful and seems to be honest and could be the type of guy that would be “just right” for you. But that is not why I feel light as air. Granted, it feels great to have someone of the opposite sex appreciate me and want to spend time with me. But truthfully I would feel the same way no matter what. No matter whom I was spending time with.

Everyone always says that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. It is repeated so often that it is almost cliché. I heard it, I knew it was true, but whatever. I never believed it. I always felt to be loved by anyone, including myself I needed to be a better person, look better, be skinnier, have wittier things to say, have more money, be smarter… blah, blah, blah.

What I am about to tell you is going to change your life. And when you realize it you too will feel lighter than air. They were all right. You have to love yourself. And You are perfect just the way you are. You do not need to make any apologies for who or what you are. Even though you don’t believe it, you are enough to love and when you accept it the love you truly need is going to find you... And this love will make you weightless.

I am realizing that the reason I feel lighter than air is because I am truly, truly falling in love. With me. I am getting to know this awesome person who the more I know about, the more I love. I am in no hurry to find someone else. I would feel like I was cheating on this new relationship. I need to take some time and get to know myself. I need to practice being in love with me. The new guy is nice, but he will never love me the way that I love me (or should I say, the way I am learning to love myself).

So I am going to continue to nurture this relationship. I am going to focus on me. I am going to let others in on this new love and how wonderful it feels. If they want to come along for the ride with me they are more than welcome, but my main priority is me. I am falling in love with life and everyone and everything about it.

Until Next Time,

The New You

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